he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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