she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
