Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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