if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize