I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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