I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
These tits shall not be calmed
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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