So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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