Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
