Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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