i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
