please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Randomize
