just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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