i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I currently don't understand fingers.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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