Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
