I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
