But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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