All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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