i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
