Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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