Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
