Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
