This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
