if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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