pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
