Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize