Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize