Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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