Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
