Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
