We're like a lot better than the average bears
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
