Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Dignity is for republicans.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize