I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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