I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
