...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
