I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
