It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
