Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
