No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
