I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
