If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
