I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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