question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize