I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
