i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
