They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
