i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize