For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
