just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
