I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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