With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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