Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
