Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
