No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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