I'm really into asian looking animals
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
