Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
