I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
