No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
