your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
