he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
