How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The air was thick with penises
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
