she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize