I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
