Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
