The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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