He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
